Look, we’re all on a freight train to the grave, and I must admit that lately I’ve had the sensation that I’m in one of the forward cars. The bottom line is that after a legit lifetime of zero physical ailments, this past year smacked me around like a butterfly in a cyclone. A kidney thing, a skin/nerve thing and a personal loss thing (which didn’t help) and most recently an Achilles tendon thing which is really giving me the business. The machine seems to be grinding to a halt, I don’t like it. Whether it’s a delusion or not, I firmly believe there’s always something to do to improve a situation.
Don’t curse the darkness, light a candle! I’ll take the current moment as an opportunity to see what I can do, what goals I can set, and if it’ll have a significant, measurable impact.
Gotta’ start someplace, I think I’ll catalog all the stuff that’s plaguing me, and any mind/emotion stuff I’ve been neglecting to make for a nice holistic push. I’m not kidding myself, it won’t surprise me if I’ll need professional support/intervention, but I figure there’s nothing but upside in doing some prep work.
So, where do the physical problems lie? In my joints (ankles, toes, knees, right shoulder), in soft tissue – Achilles, lower back, lower gut. None of them restrict my range of motion, but they’re inescapable unless I’m completely sedentary. What to do? How about my mind? All this static my body’s giving me combined some decisions I’ve made to reduce my work schedule and income, and commit to a longer time horizon on my current role and, tellingly, letting formal goals slip from my life have had an enervating effect.
What to do? Common sense indicates that weight loss is my number one goal, reducing tonnage is a good in and of itself, and will cut my joints some slack. Second is diet, my knowledge of what foods cause inflammation is thin, and will need to research and experiment. And finally, I gotta’ get more enthusiasm going in general. Need to know if my new “slow to get up in the morning” situation is a fact of life, or the result of poor body stewardship and depression.
Research Diet
Will take an hour to research foods focused on both weight loss and anti-inflammation. Document what I find, creating a plan for food intake and start at once to implement.
A very quick check indicates that I need to knock out Sugar, Saturated Fats, Trans Fats, Omega 6 Fatty Acids, Refined Carbohydrates, MSG, Gluten and Casein, Aspartame, Alcohol.
This ain’t telling me anything I don’t know, for a long time now I’ve avoided confronting my crazed addiction to sugar, carbs and saturated fats and just writing that list makes it clear it’s time for an intervention!
Research Exercise
Need a new approach to exercise, I believe I may be over-training aerobically and (clearly) under-training for both flexibility and strength. Create a new plan, workout log and schedule to start at once.
I’ve never sought the services of a personal trainer, but this may be the time. I’ll track my progress for 30 days and if I’m being successful I’ll just stick with it, but if I show signs of drifting I’ll find someone to work with.
Meditate on new goals
This last year I’ve lost sight (emotional sight) of the value of ambition (simply to continuously improve on something provable – as long as I think it’s important that’s all that matters). This is a state of mind, plain and simple, which is precisely why it’s so difficult to tackle – I’m nothing if not a creature of habit. It doesn’t help that I’m not surrounded by people who value ambition, I don’t know anyone with a formal goal, so there’s no natural source to support this kind of energy. I’ll need to create it myself. I’ve done it before, and I’ll do it now. I’ve got enough unfinished creative projects to keep me busy and fulfilled but need to prioritize and create formal goals for them.
We all get knocked off our game from time to time, but it had been long enough for me since the last time and I got cocky. I’d thought the recent setbacks were just like all the others over the years, but they weren’t, they’ve been subtler and stickier. playing more on my awareness of my proximity to death. I intent to enjoy all the time I have left and need to fully embrace that it’s not a free ride. More than ever I need to be mindful of my mortal vehicle, cherish it, care for it.
Talk’s cheap. Time to drop the hammer.