Category: Noodling

(This is a note I wrote to myself; I’m sharing it in the off chance others might get something out of it.)

I’m stuck. And I’ve been stuck for longer than I can remember.

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Look, we’re all on a freight train to the grave, and I must admit that lately I’ve had the sensation that I’m in one of the forward cars. The bottom line is that after a legit lifetime of zero physical ailments, this past year smacked me around like a butterfly in a cyclone. A kidney thing, a skin/nerve thing and a personal loss thing (which didn’t help) and most recently an Achilles tendon thing which is really giving me the business. The machine seems to be grinding to a halt, I don’t like it. Whether it’s a delusion or not, I firmly believe there’s always something to do to improve a situation.

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Remember that you must die (memento mori). Not the cheeriest of thoughts, but possibly the most important if we’re to have a shot at a happy life.

It’s October in VA, the trees are still mostly full green – just some hints of the rich colors that accompany their annual decay. It also reminds me that I’ve been living like I’ll never die, or to put it more bluntly, I’ve been wasting time. (more…)

There’s no fool like an old fool. I’m starting to think about the U.S. this way, like we’ve passed through adulthood, and are sliding into senility characterized by regression to childish behavior – still in the early stages though. How much of this feeling is based on the broader insights the internet gives us into previously dark corners of the country is tough to say, but we don’t seem to be cleaving to our higher angels. (more…)

I’m biased toward critical thinking, I enjoy listening to others use it, and use it myself when I’m not being stupid. Its opposite number, dogma, posits that certainty is preferable to thinking. The former elevates the individual, the latter co-opts the individual. If you value yourself as an individual, it’s harder to devalue others as a group – but if you value yourself BECAUSE you’re in a group, it’s a hell of a lot easier to devalue another group. All of which got me thinking about whether hate is inevitable, or something we (humans) can grow out of. (more…)

“Try to look at your weakness and convert it into your strength. That’s success.” – Zig Ziglar

Just wanted to catch up with ya’ll after running silent for a while. On Monday I began a sabbatical, intended to allow me to finish my second novel and sell the first (oh, and to get my drawing skills back…that’s a work in progress). To my shame, this first week wasn’t stellar from a performance standpoint, but if I turn things around today I’m willing to chalk it up to poor planning (or passive-aggressive resistance to self-discipline, over the years I’ve elevated laziness to an art form). (more…)

My mind is burning, like I doused it with Habanero juice. A self-inflicted hamster wheel of point/counterpoint, a precursor to decision. Doubt, fear, second-guessing all a smokescreen designed to keep me in comfort. And comfort is the last thing I need. (more…)