Category: Noodling

To improvise, experiment, or think creatively – in other words things I’m thinking through

  • Journal – 03/30/20: Getting Started (during a time of pandemic)

    (This is a note I wrote to myself; I’m sharing it in the off chance others might get something out of it.)

    I’m stuck. And I’ve been stuck for longer than I can remember.

    (more…)

  • Prologue: The De-Decrepitudening

    Look, we’re all on a freight train to the grave, and I must admit that lately I’ve had the sensation that I’m in one of the forward cars. The bottom line is that after a legit lifetime of zero physical ailments, this past year smacked me around like a butterfly in a cyclone. A kidney thing, a skin/nerve thing and a personal loss thing (which didn’t help) and most recently an Achilles tendon thing which is really giving me the business. The machine seems to be grinding to a halt, I don’t like it. Whether it’s a delusion or not, I firmly believe there’s always something to do to improve a situation.

    (more…)

  • Noodling: Turn Your Inner Frenemy

    PinkBunnyUrban Dictionary says a “frenemy” is “A “toxic” person who poses as a friend but subconsciously or consciously wishes you harm.” I’m not the first to say this, but WE are our own worst frenemies (at least I am, maybe I’m projecting). We “say” we want to help us out, but constantly stab ourselves in the back. (more…)

  • Memento Mori

    skull_IconRemember that you must die (memento mori). Not the cheeriest of thoughts, but possibly the most important if we’re to have a shot at a happy life.

    It’s October in VA, the trees are still mostly full green – just some hints of the rich colors that accompany their annual decay. It also reminds me that I’ve been living like I’ll never die, or to put it more bluntly, I’ve been wasting time. (more…)

  • Quiet Desperation (Black Mass)

    Bulger_IconThere’s no fool like an old fool. I’m starting to think about the U.S. this way, like we’ve passed through adulthood, and are sliding into senility characterized by regression to childish behavior – still in the early stages though. How much of this feeling is based on the broader insights the internet gives us into previously dark corners of the country is tough to say, but we don’t seem to be cleaving to our higher angels. (more…)

  • Noodling: Inevitable Hate

    Stalin_IconI’m biased toward critical thinking, I enjoy listening to others use it, and use it myself when I’m not being stupid. Its opposite number, dogma, posits that certainty is preferable to thinking. The former elevates the individual, the latter co-opts the individual. If you value yourself as an individual, it’s harder to devalue others as a group – but if you value yourself BECAUSE you’re in a group, it’s a hell of a lot easier to devalue another group. All of which got me thinking about whether hate is inevitable, or something we (humans) can grow out of. (more…)

  • Journal – 09/05/15: Changes, Mind Games & Plans

    Me_Icon“Try to look at your weakness and convert it into your strength. That’s success.” – Zig Ziglar

    Just wanted to catch up with ya’ll after running silent for a while. On Monday I began a sabbatical, intended to allow me to finish my second novel and sell the first (oh, and to get my drawing skills back…that’s a work in progress). To my shame, this first week wasn’t stellar from a performance standpoint, but if I turn things around today I’m willing to chalk it up to poor planning (or passive-aggressive resistance to self-discipline, over the years I’ve elevated laziness to an art form). (more…)

  • Decision

    HeadIconMy mind is burning, like I doused it with Habanero juice. A self-inflicted hamster wheel of point/counterpoint, a precursor to decision. Doubt, fear, second-guessing all a smokescreen designed to keep me in comfort. And comfort is the last thing I need. (more…)

  • Noodling: The “Why Am I Doing This” Demon

    MeSmallChange is hard under the best of circumstances, not surprising given how relentless we are in sabotaging ourselves (or is that just me?). In my wrap-up post for my last set of goals, I mentioned the old “why am I doing this” Demon, and a friend said she’d like to hear more about what I meant with this term. Her question made me realize that I intuitively know what it means, but haven’t ever said it out loud, or bothered to explain it. (more…)

  • Noodling: Quo Vadis with Twitter?

    TwitterHeadIf you’ve been reading along, you know that I have ambitions to be someone who makes their living off the art he creates.

    I decided to lead with novels because I love writing them, and creating visual art is harder to squeeze into the extra moments afforded by my life of corporate prostitution. (more…)